New Year Resolution
by shinocchi
Summary: Koujaku's constant insecurity was put to an end one year after Aoba moved in.


"You sure this is everything?"

Koujaku helped Aoba with the last of his luggage and placed them neatly in a corner before he walked over to an exhausted Aoba, who was slumped on the bed, breathing heavily due to excess energy used for heavy luggage lifting.

"Yeah, pretty much," Aoba muttered, his voice small and breathless.

Koujaku settled beside him and wiped off the sweat dripping down his cheek. Rolling sideways, Aoba nuzzled his cheek against Koujaku's lap, feeling the older man untangling his hair and playing with the tips.

The January breeze blew through the room and Aoba felt laziness washed over him. He was certain that he would fell asleep right there and then if Koujaku had not been pressing on his neck softly as he tried to ease his tiredness with a simple massage.

"How do you feel about the place?" Koujaku asked.

"Eh?"

Aoba looked up to see Koujaku scanning around his own house. It seemed to Aoba that his self-conscious had suddenly gotten to him and he knew insecurities can attack Koujaku as easy as how his temper rose when he saw Aoba got mistreated. Upon realizing this, Aoba sat up and gave him an assuring kiss on the cheek.

"It's fine, Koujaku. Though," Aoba browsed around with a small smile on his face. "I'll definitely need some time to get use to this new "_home_"."

Koujaku fidgeted at the way Aoba emphasized on the word "home" and returned his smile with a bright grin of his own. Blushing, Aoba continued.

"I'm curious, though."

"What is it?" Koujaku asked, the worries obvious in his tone.

"It's not the first time I've visited and you're only worrying about it now?"

Koujaku coughed and turned his face away but not fast enough for Aoba to miss the light blush on his face.

"That's because you'll be spending most of your time here now, so I want to make sure you're happy with it. And," Koujaku coughed again, obviously trying to hide his awkwardness. "I'm happy you find this enough to be your new home."

Aoba smiled at Koujaku's awkward attempt to be romantic, leaning on him as he spoke in a firmer tone.

"It's more than enough. Thank you."

After a lavish meal and a nice warm shower, they cuddled in bed and Aoba rested his head in the crook of Koujaku's neck as the hairdresser wrapped his arm around his waist, holding him closer and stroking the younger man's cheekbone with his other free hand. Both of them were exhausted from the moving in earlier, but they didn't have the intention to turn in early. They wanted to indulge themselves in the physical space that only belonged to them at this very moment.

Koujaku moved away from Aoba's cheek and proceeded to untangle his hair. Aoba fidgeted when Koujaku combed his hair down to his tip with his fingers, but didn't protest when Koujaku continued doing so for the rest of his head.

He closed his eyes, prepared to drown himself in this addictive happiness when he heard Koujaku sighed softly.

"I still can't believe this," Koujaku muttered, a slight quiver obvious in his tone.

Aoba mumbled a soft "hmm?", keeping his eyes closed as he felt Koujaku's hand landing softly on his head.

"I still remember the time when you were so small," Koujaku said, using his hands to illustrate Aoba's former body size. "And you used to cling to me, crying and hiding behind my back when people bullied you."

He laughed to himself, totally ignoring a pouting Aoba. The younger man opened his eyes, looked up to Koujaku and shot him a dissatisfying glare, wanting to retort but Koujaku was too fast for him.

"But now things have changed. I feel like I'm depending on you more than you depending on me now," he sighed. "You have no idea how many times you have saved me. If not because of you…"

Aoba placed a finger on his lips to quiet him, then he leaned in to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"You're wrong, Koujaku. We are depending on each other," Aoba muttered quietly and wrapped his arms around Koujaku's torso to bring their skins closer. "I can't imagine a life without you. You're always there, and you're always part of my life, a part of me. So I guess we're even. I need you, and I'll try my best to support you."

Koujaku fell silent.

"We'll be happy, right?" he said after a long pause.

"Yeah. We will."

* * *

The once-solitary room now contained the shadows of two men. It had been six months since Aoba settled down in Koujaku's home. Small notes bearing words like "take this to work with you", "clean laundry", and "I want to eat out tonight" can be regularly spotted in palpable corners of the house. Aoba was never a morning person, and Koujaku was well aware of that. Even when Aoba insisted that Koujaku should wake him up whenever he left the house, Koujaku always "mindfully" forgot about it and came back later to Aoba's unceasing badgers. At first, the house was filled with an awkward, discrepancy mix of contemporary and traditional theme, but as both Koujaku and Aoba got used to the disparity, they found themselves starting to appreciate the differences more, although they tend to fight over which was the best way to decorate their household from time to time. Now, whenever Koujaku saw Aoba's belongings in the house – which stood out in the midst of reds – he smiled reflexively as warmth filled his heart.

However, there were also times when the insecurity revisited him. After a rough make out session, Koujaku leaned against the bed-head, smoking and staring into space. Aoba was at the verge of dozing off to sleep, trying to ignore the annoying smell of smoke until he heard Koujaku's soft sighs.

"What's wrong?" Aoba rolled sideways, facing Koujaku and looking up at him.

"Ah, did I wake you up? Sorry," Koujaku smiled and reached out to caress his hair reflexively.

Aoba pouted and grabbed the cigarette out of Koujaku's hand, sending it directly to his mouth. He sucked a mouthful of it, regretted instantly as he started coughing and pushing the cigarette back to Koujaku. Koujaku can't help but beamed at his endearing action while he patted his back to ease the coughing.

"What's the sudden desperation, Aoba?" Koujaku teased, trying not to laugh as Aoba stared back at him with watery eyes.

"I thought smoking makes you miserable. So I wanted to try it out for myself."

Sometimes, Koujaku wondered if it was a sin for him to be able to witness such cuteness in such a close distance. Smiling, he sent a soft hit on Aoba's head, which Aoba dodged and he tackled him into a hug instead. Aoba's protest only lasted for seconds before he surrendered into Koujaku's embrace while Koujaku continued untangling his hair. He thought he'd avoided the question, but he'll never win against Aoba. Aoba prodded him and gave him and interrogative stare, rushing him for answers.

Sighing, he said: "I'm just thinking, if," He took another sip of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out and stared blankly into space again. "I am the right choice for you."

There were few seconds of silence, in which Koujaku finished smoking and stared down at Aoba.

"I was thinking," he swallowed. "..if you've ever regretted choosing me?"

As expected, Aoba scowled and glared angrily at him. Koujaku was trying to say something to repair the damage but a pillow flew at his direction before he can open his mouth and hit him squarely in the face.

When he recovered from the surprise, he saw Aoba curled up into a ball, his back facing him. Even at times like these Koujaku still find Aoba incredibly adorable, which always earned him a surge of guilt when the thought crossed his mind.

"Aobaaaaaaaa?" Koujaku dragged his voice, shaking Aoba violently with one hand, and sneakily reaching out to his sensitive spot with another and…

"Hahahahaha! Stop it, Koujaku! Haha! That's cheating!" Aoba rolled around frantically as he desperately trying to sweep Koujaku away. But the older man's hands were too strong for him so he ended up gripping firmly on one of Koujaku's hands to stop his attacks.

Aoba was practically ticklish everywhere, and Koujaku knew it.

When he finally calmed down, Koujaku motioned him over to sit on his lap, which Aoba unwillingly complied. He wrapped his arms around Aoba's torso the moment Aoba was comfortably seated and planted a gentle kiss on the back of his ear. Shivering slightly, Aoba placed his own hands on the back of Koujaku's warm, bigger ones.

"About your question just now…" he mumbled carefully. "…I should be the one asking you if you regretted choosing me."

Aoba paused, purposely ignoring a stunned Koujaku.

"I mean, you had so many choices before me and sometimes…" he swallowed. "…I felt as if I've taken you away from everyone else."

Koujaku continued staring at Aoba's blushing face, then he proceeded to hug his head, turning it around and planting a firm kiss on the forehead.

"If anyone is to take me away, it'll only be you, dummy."

"Don't call me names, hippo!"

"Look who's talking," Koujaku laughed.

He dodged another fist attack from Aoba and hugged him closer, burying his head in Aoba's hair and intertwining their fingers together.

"We'll be happy, right?"

"Yeah, we will."

* * *

It's New Year and today marked the first year since Koujaku and Aoba moved in together. Koujaku woke up earlier than usual for an _important _preparation. Aoba was still curling under the blanket, yawning and complaining loudly when Koujaku flipped the blanket up to make way for the sunlight pouring on Aoba's shirtless body.

"Wake up, Aoba. We're gonna be late."

"Late for what?" Aoba rolled away, still refusing to open his eyes.

"It's New Year and we're going to the shrine together, remember?"

Aoba grunted and sat up reluctantly, rubbing his eyes and gave out another yawn as he opened his eyes but immediately covered them with the back of his hands when he caught sight of the sunlight directed at his face. Koujaku ruffled his hair and placed the neatly folded clothing in front of him before he went into the bathroom to prepare himself.

"What's this?" Aoba shouted at him from the bedroom.

"Your kimono. Hurry up and prepare. I'll do your hair later," Koujaku replied from the bathroom his voice barely audible.

Aoba gave another unsatisfied grunt and rolled out of the bed, nearly falling face-down to the floor as he stumbled to balance himself. He hastily undressed himself and put on the kimono Koujaku prepared for him. This would be the first year they celebrated New Year together since Aoba moved in. Upon realizing this, Aoba felt heat rising to his face as he fastened his changing speed – almost tripping a few times when he stepped on his own clothes – and finally stared at his own reflection in the mirror, gaped.

Koujaku choose that time to stride out of the bathroom, tightening the knot on his hair as he paced out slowly and found himself stopping his track as he caught sight of Aoba, who was staring back at him, face flushed. Koujaku gaped at him, scanning him from head to toe, taking his own sweet time to indulge in the sight. He wanted to voice out his opinion but he knew Aoba'd smacked him hard in the face if he wanted to be downright honest. At the precise moment, the only descriptor that kept crossing his mind was the word _beautiful_.

"Y-you look good," Koujaku broke the awkward silence, stabling his voice as he tried to talk normally.

The red on Aoba's face deepened and he tried to hide his embarrassment by giving Koujaku a bright smile – which instantly stopped Koujaku's heart for a few seconds – as he combed his own hair with his fingers.

"T-thanks. You too," he coughed loudly and averted his gaze for a brief moment before turning back to look at him. "Oh, by the way, what about this?"

Aoba's hair had grown longer now since the last time Koujaku gave him a haircut. Whenever Aoba pointed this out to him, the older man merely smiled and shook his head, telling him that it was okay to leave it as it was. The most Koujaku did for Aoba was simple trimmings but he kept the length long.

"Come here," Koujaku gestured his chin towards the chair in front of the mirror. Aoba silently obeyed as he sat awkwardly in front of the mirror and waited for the next instruction.

Koujaku stood behind him as soon as he sat down, with a comb in his hand and a hair band in another. Aoba looked at the items curiously through the reflection of the mirror, his attention was captured by Koujaku's face, who smiled gently at him as he started combing his hair. Aoba sat silently throughout the whole time Koujaku was meddling with his hair. Halfway through, he let his eyes closed and breathed lightly, feeling Koujaku's skillful fingers diving in and out of his hair. Koujaku tapped him on the shoulder when he was finally done and Aoba opened his eyes to see a person he can barely recognize staring back at him.

"So this is why you insisted to keep my hair long?" Aoba asked as he turned his head from left to right, then right to left again to have a better look at his "new" hairstyle.

"I figured you would look nice in it," Koujaku bent down to Aoba's eye level and admired his own masterpiece from the mirror's reflection.

Aoba's hair was tied up in a ponytail. He felt his neck overly exposed but the contented expression on Koujaku's face made him swallowed back his complaints. He trusted Koujaku's verdict when it came to hairstyling, and to be honest, he liked it as much as Koujaku. Koujaku twirled the tip of his hair, bringing it to his lips and gave it a light kiss.

"You're gorgeous, Aoba. It reminded me of the first time we met."

Aoba felt heat rose to his cheeks and he smacked Koujaku on the hand, pouting and averting the hairdresser's gaze.

They spent their day in the shrine praying for happiness and health; then they had a good meal in one of the local restaurants. After cleaning themselves up, they lounged in the bedroom, cuddling and gazing at the starry night sky from the open windows. Koujaku kept Aoba close to him, arms wrapping his body tightly and nuzzling their cheeks together. Aoba relaxed his body and fell into Koujaku's embrace, feeling his heartbeat pounding on his back, accompanied by his warm, soft breaths on his right ear. They were contented; there was nothing else they wished for beside this gullible, yet surreal moment of happiness.

Koujaku kissed Aoba's neck softly. The younger man still had his hair in a ponytail as he felt a slight shudder running down his spine. He turned his head, intending to give his childhood friend an angry glare but was immediately pressed into another soft kiss, this time directly on the lips. Their kiss warmed both of their hearts and sent tingles down their souls. When they separated their brief kiss, Koujaku muttered.

"Hey, Aoba," his voice soft and warm in Aoba's ears.

"Hmm?"

"We'll be happy, right?"

This time, Aoba managed to properly shoot him an angry glare as he flicked a finger at his forehead. Koujaku massaged his forehead and grabbed Aoba's hand before he can launch his next attack.

"What was that for?"

"Let me ask you, are _you_ happy?" Aoba asked, flares in his tone.

Koujaku stunned for a while, then he proceeded to hug Aoba firmly.

"Of course I'm happy. I've never felt this happy in my entire life."

His voice was firmed, sincere enough to convince Aoba. Aoba placed his hand on top of Koujaku's and grabbed it tight enough for Koujaku to feel his heat.

"That's all that matters." And he brought Koujaku's hand to his lips and kissed his scarred knuckles.

"But there's something else that'll make me happier."

"Huh?"

Koujaku's voice was soft, so soft Aoba can barely hear him. When he took too long to respond, Aoba nudged him roughly and sent in a questioning look, which Koujaku averted.

"Hey, don't leave me hanging like this!" Aoba complained and sent another smack to Koujaku's head.

It took a while – and more persistent urges from Aoba – for Koujaku to finally give in. He took a deep breath, and moved in front of Aoba, cupping his face as he kissed his forehead. He then pressed their foreheads together, their eyes staring into each other's with full intensity.

"Will you marry me, Aoba?"

Aoba froze but Koujaku saw the emotions in his eyes deepened, followed by beads of tears glistening at the corners. He was about to retreat but Aoba pulled him in and planted a kiss on his lips, closing his eyes naturally as he felt Koujaku's trembled lips on his.

"_Yes,_" he mumbled into Koujaku's lips.

Koujaku felt tears forming in his eyes and he grabbed Aoba into a tight embrace, burying his head in his shoulder.

"I thought it was too fast to ask you."

Aoba placed a hand on his childhood friend's head.

"We've known each other forever, Koujaku. It was never too fast."

Even when they were separated; even when they had grown up into a different person; they'll never change. Aoba will always be the adorable crybaby Koujaku knew. Koujaku will always be the big brother next door, his first ever friend who rescued him from his loneliness.

"We will be happy, right?"

"Of course we will."

They will be happy. They will never give in to the dark past; they will surpass it together, and they will never give up on creating the beautiful future both of them promised each other.


End file.
